Raw Chicken Freaks Me Out and I Love Santa Clause. So What?

Holy Bongos Batman!! 

^miniature dictator

Did I ever fail at sticking to my plan of blogging weekly. And not that I have a huge following, or any sort of following at all; but if I did, I would like to send out my deepest apologies for not keeping my promise. I have no idea where the time went but I guess when we finally get the miniature dictator of the house to bed, more formally known as Ali; I'd rather contemplate how long that mysterious booger has been on my sleeve and why there is lego in the toilet. So seeing as the weekly posting appeared to be a little too challenging, I shall strive to post bi-weekly. Or maybe more… Just depends on the snot to shirt ratio I suppose.

Anyways, as promised I will now give you some insight into the nightmare known as raw chicken.

FYI- I am very aware how over the top my antics are and have acknowledged and fully admit to having a problem.

As I was cooking our dinner throughout the weeks the thought crossed my mind of, "You should totally snap some pictures of the sheer havoc that is happening."

Uhhhhm… HELL NO.

Reason one, salmonella.

Reason two, salmonella.

Reason three, salmonella.

Lets just say I'm a little anal about having all electronic devices in a completley different room while handeling the cold, floppy, flesh coloured lumps of nastiness. Cross contamination is NOT an option in this little house on the prairie. So then someone might ask,

"Why Janine, how do you cook such delicious chicken so often if you are so bothered by it?"

Well let me tell you. 

I drove myself to our local Walmart and bought some latex gloves, a HUGE box of latex gloves. (Of which I am actually almost completely out of.) Before I discovered latex gloves, I would probably wash my hands thirteen times while cooking. However, since this discovery I am proud to announce that I only wash my hands about eleven times now. 

It is important that you don't just put on one pair of gloves and call it a day. 

No, no, no, no.

Anytime you need to touch something else, you must remove the gloves, wash your hands and put on a new pair. If you are feeling as though you want to take the glove use to the next level, you can layer your gloves. This gives you the option to peel off a layer and already have the next ones ready to go.

Genius, I know.
This not only makes for a cleaner, less contaminated work space it also prevents dry, cracking skin on ones smooth delicate hands. While wearing the gloves you also avoid skin to skin contact with the unforgiving texture known as cold dead chicken. 
And to all you people who handle raw chicken like your partaking in the hand-jive or something, good for you. Not this girl, it will never be this girl and that is fine by me. I will forever appear grimaced and as though I am dissecting a cow eyeball while cooking dinner. For all you Saskatchewan people when I say dinner I mean supper, not lunch. It's called 'brunch' for a reason, not 'brinner'.

Next up, CHRISTMAS.

Spot the Janine!

Only twenty days, two hours and forty-seven minutes until the most magical day of the year. And for all of you scrooges out there, *cough cough Derek cough cough* let me inform you that you are voluntarily missing out on all the warm fuzziness that come along with embracing the holiday season. I don't feel as though I need to explain myself. There is a reason a whole SEASON is dedicated to this one special day. It's marvellous, filled with joy, very important in a biblical sense and exuberates love. Thats it, thats all.


Now, in a few days I am parting ways with all four of my wisdom teeth. This could be great material for a blog entry or the complete opposite. Time will tell, and so will the size and swelling of my face.

Later gators.

The Blog is Back. Time to Get Real.

According to this blog, I have a six month old baby, dark brown hair and I am going to Vegas in three days. Although that all sounds very lovely, I have to inform you none of the above facts are true.



I do have a baby, however she is now a year and a half. I think that makes her a toddler... and she is the size of an average three year old.




My hair is blonde again. This is a great thing.


And Vegas was a great time, however Edmonton seems to be as cool as my vacations are getting these days.



I also now have four tattoos compared to the zero I had before. SAY WHAT?

Badass, I know.

It has almost been a year to the day since I last wrote a blog entry. And according to my whopping three previous entries, I was what they call an 'avid blogger' (just kidding). However, I would LOVE to be an avid blogger so this moment, right now, shall commence the baby steps towards that.

Now, lets get serious for a brief moment.

I stopped writing for a reason, and that reason was not laziness or procrastination (although that would be a an easy explanation). The real reason was much more personal, debilitating and to be honest with you a whole lot more challenging. The real reason was mental illness. Yupp I said it, and as far as I am concerned the whole world can know that I have been diagnosed with and continue to battle ailments that are clinically classified as anxiety, depression and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).

There is no need to go into detail about all of my symptoms, countless therapy sessions, endless psychiatric evaluations, multiple hospital stays, terrifying panic attacks, different medications or all the  breakdowns that accompanied these illnesses. The important thing is that they all lead me to where I am today. Better. Not 100% better, but at least a solid 87% better. I now understand I will never be the same person I was before all of this came to be, but I know in my heart I will in fact, be okay. Which if you asked me back in February when I hit my all time low, I would of had a much different answer for ya. Thanks to a handful of amazing professionals, great friends and family, a proper dose of medication, exercise, a nutritional diet and a good sense of humour I have gotten to where I am today.

Now hear me out. I am not in any way shape or form writing this to attract attention, or gain sympathy. Please do not view me differently, or feel as though you constantly need to ask me how I'm doing. You will know if I am not doing so hot, trust me on that one. I am being open and honest about my struggles to give people hope and let people know I am more than willing to listen, help and give the best advice that I can. Above, when I mentioned that I hit an all time low, you need to understand how drastically low it really was. Mental illness, regardless of what it may be, is an awful thing. No one chooses it. And more people then you would ever even know, struggle with some form of this disease. That being said, I would like to extend a huge thank-you to all of those who knew of my battles and provided and continue to provide endless support. You guys are da bomb.

Seriousness, over.

Thanks for reading, and stay tuned next Saturday for a much more uplifting post on getting over a fear of raw chicken and how not to seem crazy after setting up your Christmas decor two months early.